Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Wait no longer... but then wait some more.

It's been a few long silent months, but after lots of waiting, then waiting some more, then waiting even more, and even now waiting again, we begin the journey of a military family.

For years, Jon has asked me time and time again to support him in enlisting in the US Military, and every time I, with a very hardy and confident NO, rejected his request and carried on pursuing a vision for our lives I thought was laid out so perfectly.

But after my most desperate moment where I stayed up an entire evening alone wrestling with God and my fear of failing all I set out to pursue, I sat across my husband and begged him to figure his life out cause I was to exhausted to carry our family any further.

Weeks earlier, we were sitting across from a friend who was helping me write out a business plan for Sweet Tea & Co and our personal family goals.  I heard Jon share our life story and as he did, I noticed how with each major decision our family has ever made, it usually began with "because Jenny..."  And it hit me, that I have really, well being painfully honest, controlled a lot of our lives.

So as I sat there across from him pouring my heart out, I asked him, "if he could do anything in his life, anything, where money and family weren't a factor, what would he do?"  And with a very quick and confident answer, he said, "join the military."  And without a hesitation, I responded, "OK."

After lots of waiting, we wait no longer.  On July 17th, 2015, our favorite man swore his oath to the United States Air Force.  And now.... we wait some more.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Going Back

I'm a fickle little one, pledging my blogging allegiance and failing to follow through.  I just haven't been able to commit to the image I imagined for this space.  But it's time I go back to where I started.
This blog was founded on the idea of documenting my journey in life as a wife, mother, and follower of Christ as I go from here to eternity, and as our current lives are shifting, it is no better time than now to refocus our eyes back on eternity and it's goal at hand.

A little over 5 years ago I began the writings of motherhood and life after my greatest heartbreak.  We navigated the waters of moving back in with "mom & dad" and our attempt to put our lives back together with a new baby and no income.  As I sift through the posts from years past, I can't help but laugh, roll my eyes, and cry for the girl who often sat at her computer screen attempting to narrow in on the moments worth remembering over the fear of the unknown that had so greatly become her closest confidant.  She had no idea that the next years of her life would give her some of her greatest bouts of anger, greatest feelings of hopelessness, most breathtaking views of unconditional love, moments of complete joy, and the greatest gift of forgiveness.  Little did she know that what was in store for her would turn out to be the most adventurous years that she'll never forget.

I can't help but feel this deep sense of compassion for the girl I once was.

So desperate for grace.

So longing for a purpose worthy of the gospel.

I was so set out on finding that glory for my story, that I almost missed the very meaning of my life.

I almost missed the very breaths that stood at my feet,  the very heart that would stand across from me just begging me to quiet down and just be in his, and the very calm voice that called my name as a Child of the King.  I was determined to find my identity in something that I lost track of the purpose in the actual doing of my days.  I wanted to be big.  I wanted to be known.  I wanted to have thousands of likers and followers even though I couldn't even figure out who it was in me they would be following.

It wasn't until I came to my weakest of moments, where my body physically started to shut down, and my will collapsed on it's knees and surrendered, did I finally get my moment.  And that moment came when I realized that laying myself down, meant finding out exactly who I was.

I haven't fully figured myself out, but I'm about to embark on a journey that's going to push me to my limits and force me into corners that in my mind I know are impossible to face.  I'm about to do what I never believed I could ever do.  I have no idea how I'll do it, but survival is the only answer.

So, from here to eternity is the life I live... and be prepared to join in for this crazy crazy ride...

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Emily & Zack // An Engagement Session

About two years ago, Jon and I announced our "retirement" from photography.  We closed up shop and stopped booking any new sessions- especially weddings.  We were going through new seasons in our life that we knew we needed to focus on and put all our efforts into.  This past year I said yes to photographing only a couple weddings, and Zack & Emily are two people we knew we just needed to say yes to.

I've known Zack for as far back as I can remember.  He was my younger brother's best friend growing up and since then has grown into an amazing, hilarious, passionate man who not only disciples my husband, but looks at his fiance, Emily, with eyes I've never seen a man look at a woman with (like, ever.  IN MY LIFE).  And Emily returns his stares of deep love with these eyes insanely full of grace and adoration I've ever seen someone look with in return.

Emily and Zack have something I've seen few have in their beginning stages of love- they have this deep inward love for each other that comes out in a way I can't seem to explain except, hopefully, in these photos.  Zack with his quick wit & Emily with her contagious smile & laugh make for one of my most favorite couples ever!  Like, ever!

The reason I chose to debut their photos on my personal blog is because these two are very personal to me.  And if there's ever characters in a movie where you are like, "that, why can't that be real?" well then, these two are them and as real as ever!