But my mind has been wrestling with my Kingdom Role. What am I to do on this Earth that seeks out the Kingdom of Heaven instead of a comfortable home? I've recently read the book, Passport to Darkness, by Kimberly L. Smith (CoFounder of Make Way Partners) that documents her life's story as she honestly seeks to make great of Jesus by truly putting Him and His Words first over anything else. And that led her straight to Sudan and the hundreds of thousands of Orphans alone in the Bush of the Sahara Desert. It was a hard book to read. One that left me late at night screaming out to Jesus why He lets such things happens. Then late nights crying over His response: I don't, but you do.
Harsh words that pierce a DEEP love for me and for the people He created. I am the answer to my own question. I am the one who sits comfortably by reading the words:
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and windows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."- James 1:27Yet finding excuses and justifying my reasons to actually do little to physically follow through.
So this past mother's day, I did enjoy my family. I did soak in the words of thanks and gratitude about my role as a mother. But I also constantly spent the day allowing a stir deep within to take motion that lead my head down, my hands up in surrender, and my mouth proclaiming "who you love, I'll love, who you serve I'll serve, if this life I lose, I will follow you."
So to the mothers around the world, THANK YOU. Thank you for challenging my comfortable belief that I demand something in return. Thank you for fighting for your children. Thank you for showing me what real sacrifice means. Thank you for starving so that your child may eat. Thank you for walking the road you walked with a head held with grace and dignity. And although you will probably never hear these words, "THANK YOU!"